Get Weird

I haven't written in a month, not officially for official book business, but I have written side quests things like these responses to prompts, fun Internet writing, notes in my tiny notebook. One note most recently stated, “my water bottle from the air pressure shot water through the nozzle up my nose and all over my pants.” This happened on an airplane. I've been moving and flying and visiting loved ones instead of writing because we know one must not write for a little in order to write again. I've been devising theater with my partner George, our friend Paul, along with some collaborators in Tampa, Florida.

We are building a theater piece, and also video footage, and still photos. George and his collaborator Liz sent us prompts. We completed these prompts by generating written proposals movements rituals and stories. In one of my proposals, I caught my finger in a small electric hand fan, another collaborator put my fingers in their mouth, and delivered two compliments to me. The idea behind this project is we are a cult that worships box fans.

For five days, we generated content related to this box fan cult idea. We created rituals that made sense like a purification ritual or a delivering of a prophecy. We also created content completely unrelated to the box fan cult concept like drinking water out of ketchup bottles and choreographing a movement sequence based on stories that took place at amusement parks or state fairs.

I found myself wanting it all to make less sense. It was kind of like writing a first first first shitty draft. When I get started on something, I write by hand and allow my mind to be pulled in any compelling direction. I try not to stay focused, because what if the more exciting story is in the perceived tangent? George stated at the beginning of the week that we were in phase one of the process, trying to make as much mud and muck as possible. Beginning phases hold a chaos like writing into a storm. I think in some aspects creating into the storm is hard and I found that challenging while working on this project. However, in phase two and three when the editing happens, the most thrilling parts may come from the strangest material. The weirdest tangents.

I discovered this after drafting and editing my book. The chaotic paragraphs between the focused narrative propelled me to write a better more focused paragraph later. In my editing phases, I deleted much of the unrelated content but kept some gems. If I write a list that becomes repetitive or redundant, I can later choose my favorite option. The mess is necessary.

When I am ready to visit my ongoing draft, I know I'll be looking to sharpen the beginning. I will look for clarity. For it all to make sense, but that's because I'm at the end of the process. Starting should be winding and expansive. Starting should ask questions rather than solve problems. Starting should not make sense.